Back To December
by jadajmk
Summary: "And I go back to december all the time" -Taylor Swift  A songfic for Courtney, from Duncan


_I'm so glad you made time to see me  
How's life, tell me how's your family  
I haven't seen them in a while  
You've been good, busier then ever  
We small talk, work and the weather  
Your guard is up and I know why_

I looked over at Courtney, who was sitting on my bed. She had finally agreed to actually talk to me, for the first time in about 2 months. We just talked, awkwardly, about all the clubs and sports/activities that she's doing, which is a lot. She even started playing Tennis, I didn't think that she could have fitted more in her schedual.

She was actually pretty good, people at school had even started calling her "Tennis Court" Sometimes it amazes me how much she does. Soccer, dance/ballet, and violin in the fall. Swimming, Violin, ballet, and ice-skating during the winter. Gymnastics, dance, and girls spring hockey during the spring. Lacrosse, tennis, voice/guitar, during the summer. Then she played Tennis every Saturday. Then there was all the clubs she was in, like student council, French club, and Art club, plus debate team. How does she fit all that in.

We talked about school, how classes were, crap like that. I could tell that she was nervous and kinda jumpy._  
_

_'Cause the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind  
You gave me roses and I left them there to die_

I knew why, I could be nervous if I was about to talk to the person that you loved dearly, then they cheated on you.

_So this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I'd go back to december all the time  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to december, turn around and make it alright and  
I go back to december all the time_

"Enough small talk. We really need to talk." I said

"Okay, go ahead, I'm listening" Courtney said, in that angelic voice, that I missed so much.

Swallowed the lump in troguht. "I'm really sorry about cheating on you." I said.

"Okay." Courtney responded.

Was that all she had to say.

"I really miss you Courtney." I said, looking into her eyes, but couldn't, because she kept looking around.

I wish I could go back and stop myself from making the mistake that I did.

_These days I haven't been sleeping  
Staying up playing back myself leaving  
When your birthday passed and I didn't call  
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times  
I watched you laughing from the passenger side,  
Realized I loved you in the fall  
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind  
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye _

"I really do miss you, a lot. You're all I can think about. I can't sleep or eat and all I can think about is how badly I treated you. How you didn't deserve any of it. I think about what we use to have, all the time. I think of how I should have treated you." I said, desperately wanting to get my point across.

"I'm also sorry that I missed almost all of the great things you did this year." I said.

She just stayed quiet, with her eyes looking at me, finally.

_So this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I'd go back to december all the time  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to december, turn around and change my own mind and  
I go back to december all the time_

"I loved you a lot, I still do, but I got scared. It all became to much and I just ran." I said and still didn't get a response from her

"I wish I realized how great you actually are and how nice our relationship was, before I made a mistake. Don't get me wrong I always knew that you were great and how great our relationship was, but I didn't know just how great it was. I know we fight and crap like that, but it was still a awesome relationship." 

_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right  
And how you held me in your arms that September night,  
The first time you ever saw me cry  
Maybe this is wishful thinking  
Probably mindless dreaming  
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right_

"I miss everything about out relationship. I miss laying in bed with you, I miss holding you, I miss our late night talk. I miss the way you held me, when Scruffy died. I miss when you smiled at me. I even miss our little fights. I miss laughing with you, the way you skin feels. I can't believe I'm being this corny."

You sound like a wuss or….a guy that's in love.

_I'd go back in time and change it but I can't  
So if the chain is on your door, I understand_

"I wish I could change everything that happened. I want to be with you again, but if you don't I guess I understand." I really wished she would just say something already.

_But this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I'd go back to december  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine and  
I go back to december, turn around and make it alright and  
I go back to december, turn around and change my own mind and  
I go back to december all the time_

"But I promis that if you take me back, that'll I'll never cheat on you again. I promis that I'll love you, the right way. I'll do anything, Courtney. I really miss you and you mean so much to me." I said and stopped waiting for her to say something, anything

She didn't say anything, just got up and started walking out the door. I rushed to catch up with her and grabbed her wrist, and pulled her into a hug. Her face was buried in my chest and I noticed that Courtney had started crying. I wrapped my arms around her tighter, I didn't want this moment to end, I wanted her to stay in my arms forever. She was so warm and soft.

"Please, I'm really sorry." I said, I felt her wrap her arms around my middle.

"I miss you too." Courtney said.

I guess we were going to start repairing out relationship, that had been broken by mistakes.

Part of me still couldn't believe how corny I had sounded, but the other part didn't care, because I had my princess back.


End file.
